In the end- Holby City Fan Fiction!
by XjepicholbyfanX
Summary: Oliver finally finds out about Taras tumor, but and unlikely coleague begins to show signs of compassion towards him. Please read and review- my first fiction :D x
1. Chapter 1

Hey this is my first fan fiction :D it has a bit of everyone in but mainly focusing on Jac and Oliver and Drawin ward! i hope you like it. i will include more people later on; i'm half way through chapter 2 but i was excited to start up loading so yeah hehe. it might only end up to be a weakly thing because of school etc. will try to update regularly! Please read and review :D Thanks! x

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I could never understand the meaning of love properly. I had never grown up to be 'Loved' or 'cared' I suppose that's why I find it hard to feel it for others.  
I thought I knew what love was, as a child. But I was wrong. I thought I'd finally found 'love' and the understood the true meaning of it. Again I was completely wrong. I guess I will never uncover the true meaning to it.  
Is that why I'm so ice cold? Enjoy others misery; sadness. Or is it just the fact that I have no heart; like my mother. I never want to be known as her, part of her. What I would give to be able to feel love for someone. Just to know that deep down it is there; I'm not like my mother anymore. Relationships are hard to maintain, they say it's me. I'm oblivious to what I do. Too clingy? Don't want to lose someone who is beginning to come close? It's inevitable, I'm going to stay lonely, cold, and sad some may describe it.  
Would I ever change; would anyone change me? Is it possible for one person to resolve what another has done? It has made a fracture in me. I feel broken like a cracked plate. It needs throwing out or gluing back together. Who or what is the glue I need to resolve years of un-repaired damage. As I've got older the crack has become bigger; almost unfixable. I needed to find out quick else I would break in half and be useless to everyone. No one would want me.  
It would be my childhood again.. Not wanted, moved on by people who had reached their wits end with me.  
Abandoned once more.

I quickly drank the last few gulps of my coffee. The ice cold winds sent shivers down my spine. I threw the coffee cup into the bin and got down off the picnic table I was perched on; the frosty grass making a crunching sound as I did so. I made my way onto the Darwin ward walking briskly out of the cold air from the outdoors. I marched over to the nurses' station where ongoing conversation began to wither away.  
"Don't let me stop the gossip." I said to my colleagues.  
Both Mo and Oliver still sat silent, until Oliver opened his mouth to dare speak.  
"We weren't talking about you; if that's why you're concerned." He murmured attempting to reassure me.  
I just pulled a blunt smile, and headed towards my office.  
Johnny slid round the corner, like a snake almost.  
"So, you fancy dinner tonight...maybe?" He said uncertainly.  
"Not in the mood." I replied.  
"Ah c'mon! You're never in the mood to just go out!" He cried.  
I scoffed at him before slamming the heavy office door in his face.  
I wasn't in the mood, ever. I felt like I needed to tell someone. This dark guilt of knowing something I shouldn't hang over me. It wasn't even bad, nothing that would affect me but someone else.  
It wasn't about me either. This was when my heart warmed a bit. I finally had some feeling there for others emotions. Tara popped her head round the corner of my office, she was as timid as ever  
"Ms Naylor can I have a quick word." She asked me.  
"I was just about to ask you the same thing." I said sternly.  
"About my tumour..."  
"You don't need to explain Dr Lo. Your condition is deteriorating. If you wish to maintain your relationship with Valentine I highly suggest you tell him before I do for you." I growled.  
Tara's facial expression was willed with fear.  
"You can! Ms Naylor, it would devastate him!"  
"What would devastate him Tara would be you dyeing on him unexpectedly."  
Tara busts out into tears in front of me.  
"It's up to you Dr Lo." I said unsympathetically.  
I cared more than people thought. It seemed alien like that I could feel compassion for Oliver if anything happened to her.  
"You have until the end of your shift." I said pointing to my office door. Tara sloped out of the room shivering clenching her hands together.  
I fell back into my chair pushing my fiery auburn hair back and sighing.  
All I could hearsay the rain outside beating down, bashing against the window.  
What was I feeling that made me feel so protective about Oliver's welfare. Maybe I couldn't see him loose someone else close to him again.  
I questioned myself further. What was I turning into? My façade was rupturing slightly.  
I couldn't have feelings for him; there was Johnny. What even was my relationship with him? There was no defined status for us...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2- Sorry its not very long :L i will try upload every few days until next week when im back at school where i will try upload a few chapters at weekends :D hope you enjoy my story. Any suggestions please let me know! x**

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I was in theatre with Oliver that afternoon. The time went so slowly, Oliver unaware of what was about to hit him like a tonne of bricks. I felt so cruel for once. In the long shot it was for his own good.  
We finally had finished the final operation for the day.  
He attempted to start small talk while we were finishing up.  
"You up to anything tonight Ms Naylor?" He asked me.  
I shook my head because I knew answering him would probably give away how I was feeling; guilty and suspicious.

I quickly excited the theatre and patrolled the wards one last time before escaping to my office to grab my things.

I was quickly distracted from collecting my things when I noticed a small note on my desk, addressed to Ms Naylor. I took a double take to make sure it was for me and then picked it up with a puzzled look on my face. It read:

_Ms Naylor,_

_You were right. I can't go on like this, leading him on. _

_I'm leaving to stay with my mother in Hong Kong. _

_I'm sorry for the short notice._

_Dr Tara Lo._

What had i done? For once I felt a deep pit in my stomach slowly engulfing me. At that moment Oliver burst into the door.

"Tara has gone!" he cried

I could instantly tell the young doctor had been crying.

"She can't have gone far Oliver... Have you tried calling her?" I asked him with a sympathetic tone to my voice.

"Of course I have." He paused "just leave it Jac. She never had the decency to tell me about her tumour in person. Why should I care anymore?"

I looked up at him

"You found out?" I asked him

He nodded, tears trickling down his face.

"You know?" He said glaring at me

"I was going to tell you at the end of the day if she hadn't already. I'm not that harsh Valentine; although I may look it."

The room was silent; we both sat there unknown f what to say to one another.

"I'm going to stay in one of the On call rooms tonight if you need me. I don't particularly feel like heading home tonight." Oliver mumbled.

I just gave him that re assuring look still unknown of what to say.

It was my fault; like everything was. She had just left him because I effectively forced her to.

I had been such a long time since this distant emotion had taken over me.

I came out of my daze and grabbed my handbag, quickly walking out of my office to try and avoid...

"Ms Naylor where d'you think you're going?" Asked Johnny, stopping me in the corridor.

"Home." I said sharply

"Not on my watch your not! It's Friday, let ya hair down!" He tried to argue

"No."

"C'mon what's up with you? I know you're always cranky and all but something is up." He interrogated me.

"Honestly, I'm perfectly fine. Long day that's all." I replied to him. He let go of my shoulders and pecked me on the cheek before waltzing off.

I wiped my cheek and pulled a disgusted face at him, he just laughed it off as per usual. I walked into the empty lift. For a few moments I fell into a daze, oblivious to the outside world.

The sudden cranking noise of the lift opening made me conscious again.

"Jac!" called Sacha

I just smiled at him, trying to avoid any social contact.

"I was wondering if you were out for a drink tonight. It is Friday after all..." he asked me beaming.

I looked up at my friend and raised my eyebrow.

"Take that as a no then shall I?"

" I'm just not in the mood." I said bitterly.

But Sacha being Sacha he wouldn't let me go until I had finally agreed with him.

He grabbed my arm tugging me along with him, I didn't have much chance to fight him off.

"Alright. I give in, but only ONE drink Sacha.."

He just laughed at me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the kind reviews! I might not be able to update this weekend, although i will attempt Sunday but i cant promise! If not monday, then it might have to be onto updating weekly :) anyway thanks for reading! please review! x**

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"Been working here long?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

Ugh I hate making small talk with people. I don't think they understand just how busy I am.

"Yes, many years." I answered. "Okay Mrs Kendal, I will send your bloods to the lab and Nurse Maconie will be with you shortly."

I managed to struggle back over to the nurses station, pushing my hands against the cold walls. This prevented me from falling over and making a mockery out of myself.

Suddenly I felt cold hands touch my shoulders

"Boo!"

I quickly turned around shocked. It was Sacha, he seemed to be quite joyful today considering.

"Mr Levy." I said, darting my eyes.

"See your not at your best today Ms Naylor?" He chuckled.

I just scoffed at him, holding my head in pain.

"Rough night?" By this time the man was in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

I glared again, making him stop.

"And that's my cue to leave!" He laughed, patting me on the back before leaving me on this hectic ward alone.

It wasn't long before 3 came round, it was a joy to be able to leave. I rarely got so drunk that the next day I was longing to get home. I never minded the ward really. It was just all the immature gossip, and constant uneasy feeling like you could trust no one.

Elliot came waddling up to me

"Ah Ms Naylor! Shall we head down to theatre, we should be starting any time soon!" He exclaimed

I nodded and followed him down the theatre.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for reading my fan fiction :) i tried to upload it earlier, but school network was down so i could access it :L anyway please read and review!

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Chapter 4

I slumbered into work, still feeling slightly nauseous from the other day. I had decided to come in early to try make up for the time I unwillingly slacked off for. I didn't want to get a name for myself as lazy around the ward. I marched onto the ward, all I could hear was my feet against the tiled floor. It was still dark out, but only 6 am. I could hear footsteps approach behind me, i swivelled round. It was only Valentine.

"Thought you wouldn't be in today?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Best just get on I suppose. I probably won't see her again."

My heart sank as I heard him say this. I couldn't get my head around why I felt so sympathetic towards him.

"We'll I'm here if you need me." I said to him in the least personal way I could.

"Thank you Jac." He said to me

"It's still Ms Naylor." I said letting out the slightest smile.

When I turned back around I could see Mo looking at us. Obviously taking everything in and twisting it into some gossip that she would tell Maconie later. I just rolled my eyes at her. I walked over to the doctor 'looking' through patient notes.

"See what you wanted?" I said towering her as she sat down at the nurses station.

"Watch what your doing, I don't want you hurting Johnny." She said angrily

"Oh please, what do you think is going on between me and Valentine? There's nothing between me and Johnny anyway." I tutted.

"Yeah well it wouldn't be the first time if you did would it? Just be careful." She whispered with anger in her voice.

I just rolled my eyes towards her. There was nothing really between us, I don understand why everyone thought so.

"Valentine!" I called "sorted Mr cole out? 10 milligrams of morphine."

He just nodded his head and walked off to tend to him.

Mo just looked at me again giving a look of disapproval, I quickly turned my head and pretended I didn't see. All of a sudden the monitor from Mr cole went off. I ran over to see what was going on.

"CRASH TEAM!" I shouted, glaring at Oliver who was unaware of what he had done.

"What did you give him?" I asked angrily

"10 milligrams of adrenaline. Like you asked.." He said sheepishly

I gritted my teeth and looked at him.

I took the crash trolly from Mo,

"Charge to 200" I waited... Nothing

"Clear, charge again..." Again I just watched the lifeless man.

"Once more. Charge..."

The mans eyes began to blink, he was confused

"What's happened?" He asked

"You have just been brought back round Mr Cole.." I said to him. I grabbed Oliver by the arm and dragged him to my office.

"I said Morphine. NOT adrenaline." My eyes narrowed at him.

"I'm so sorry Ms Naylor! It's just been hectic the last few days." He explained

"Take the rest of the day off, you need to figure your personal life out before you come back." I snapped.

He looked at me

"I'm sorry. Please let me stay here, it keeps my mind off it all." He said pleading.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed

"I've heard it all before Valentine, you don't get slack because we work together.."

He sighed and headed for the door.

"Just take the rest of today and tomorrow off then you can come in. She isn't worth all this, she wouldn't have just left if she cared that much. I know it's 'heartbreaking' but it had to be said by someone."

All he could do was let out a sad smile before going.

I felt awful again, it was going to be said sooner or later. She didn't care, only for her career did Tara care. I was getting too into this situation and I had to stop. Mo already thinks I'm going behind Johnny's back with him. Who next, Johnny will be thinking things!


	5. Chapter 5

**sorry about the late upload, oops :L and its short will start next chapter soon so that will be up! hope you**

**are enjoying! please read and review! x**

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Chapter 5

-the next day-

I tried to stay out of this situation, keep it away from my life. It just wouldn't leave my head; the thought of it lingered throughout the day.

I had my hand about to knock on the door. I looked up

"Am I really, doing this?" I whispered to myself sounding disgusted.

I was here now; I might as well. I raised my hand again, knocking three times on the big wooden door.

I could hear scuffling on the other side of the door; keys slowly unlocking it. The anxiety rising. Then the door flung open and on the other side was a young blond woman.

"Oh, hello." She said timidly

"Does Oliver Valentine live here by any chance?" I asked the annoying blonde that reminded me of the one on Kellar. Even after not even a minute of knowing her.

"Erm yeah he does."

"You his girlfriend? Already. Shows how much he tells us at work." I sneered

"Oh god no, I'm not! I'm his sisters old house mate!" She laughed.

"Just go get him if he is in." I was becoming increasingly impatient. I was only calling for a flying visit to check if he would be suitable to work again.

The dizzy blonde quickly scurried off to go get him.

Whilst he emerged from around the corner, he saw me and smiled.

"Ah Ms Naylor! What brings you here?" He asked me

"Work. Tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine to do that..."

"Are you going to show me in, or are we just going to chat through doorways?" I asked him

"God, sorry." He said apologetically showing me in.

Their house that they shared was a terraced hour, quite antique inside. Not my taste; too rustic for me.

I sat down at the kitchen table with him

"Tea or coffee?" He asked

"Neither. Just a quick visit to check up on you. Are you coping okay?"

"Where has Jac gone?" He laughed

"Ms Naylor; Is right here."

He laughed. "Yeah, I'm doing fine. Everyone has been great to me, especially you for once!" He said beaming.

I let out a slight grin; after all it was a very rare compliment for me.

For a second our eyes met. I paused a thought for a split second and looked away.

"I better be going." I said, leaning in to give him a hug.

"Thanks Jac." He smiled up at me.

I turned around and left his house behind. I checked my phone, 5 missed calls- Johnny Mac.

I rolled my eyes and called him back.

"What."

"Woah don't bite my head off!"

"If you don't spit it out I'm hanging up!" I shouted at him down the phone.

"Me and Mo have been invited to a party."

"So? Do I care?"

"Well it's probably already a rejection as you clearly don't like me. But will you come?"

"Let me think... No." I was about to hang up,

"Oh c'mon! If I don't go I owe Mo £20!"

My facial expression was just confusion

"Why do you owe her that...?" I quizzed him.

"Albi's, 8:00. Just come, bring a friend if you have to."

I never bothered answering him, I just hung up.

An hour and I meant an hour if I went. We didn't want a repeat of last time I went there.

6:30, an hour and a half till the party. I really didn't want to go; but only to prove to Mo I was being decent for once. I scraped back my hair into a formal ponytail and headed towards my wardrobe.

It was only a small bare wardrobe containing only work clothes and the very few formal dresses I had worn various times before on numerous occasions. I reached in to the back and pulled out a suit. It had a pencil skirt, white shirt an a blazer. Probably would look like I was attending a funeral but I was never a very cheerful person in the first place. I put on the ancient suit that I still managed to squeeze into and headed to the party.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey guys sorry for the lag in updating :S too busy with school and tweeting- and im a night writer so limits my time xD but anyway thanks for reading, please review it would be great! xx_

Chapter 6-

At the party

I slowly peeked round the corner of Albis; holding back trying to go unnoticed by everyone. I stepped into the bar feeling out of place. It wasnt my scene, never liked parties. I saw Johnny waving frantically at me like and excited child on Christmas. I quickly walked over to him and mo sat there together. You would think they were un-separable .

"So you decided to show your face..?" Laughed Johnny

"Yeah I did. Just to shut you up." I replied bitterly.

"You owe me £20 Maurine..." He whispered to Mo unaware I was stood right there and his 'whispering' was abnormally loud.

"£20 for what Maconie..." I asked him darting my bright green eyes at him.

"Umm nothing." He stammered obviously covering something.

Again I narrowed my eyes and edges closer to him making him feel uneasy.

"I bet him 20 quid you wouldn't show your face." Said mo butting in...

"Oh did you now.."

I said looking at Johnny with killing looks

"Urm yeah but your here so it doesn't matter anymore hunny." He laughed patronisingly putting his arm around me.

I pulled him off and looked disgusted at him

"You have no right to touch me!" I yelled

The majority of the bars drop outs turned and looked.

"A picture might last longer than a stare you know?" I said to the spectators. Most of them turned away; except for one of which was Valentine.

I turned to Johnny and Mo

"I'm going to get a drink." I said angrily.

Valentine looked at me as I approached him

"You came?" I asked

"We'll obviously Ms Naylor..." He said sheepishly.

I smiled at him to show I wouldn't snap at him for the sarcastic remark.

"Fancy a drink?" I asked him.

"Go on then.. You here with Johnny and Mo?"

"Unfortunately yes. He dragged me along I didn't have much choice in the situation. You coming to sit with us?" I asked him as I made my way towards to bar.

"Why not, not here with anyone else." He answered.

Once I had the drinks I brought them back to the table accompanied by valentine following me like a lap dog.

I placed the drinks down on the table- 2 beers, 1 cocktail for Mo and a glass of whine for myself.

"So Oliver are you joining us on this fine evening?" Asked Johnny.

"No he just thought he would stand and watch us.." I said sarcastically. Oliver laughed whilst I got dirty looks from Mo.

Oliver took a seat next to me whilst Johnny and mo huddled up on the other side. Everything was awkward and silent until Johnny broke the tension.

"You going for a fag mo?"

"Erm yeah go on." She replied.

I looked at both of them

"Neither of you smoke tho do you...?" I narrowed my eyes once again towards the duo.

"No but... Tension relief." He stuttered waltzing off with his trust sidekick. I scoffed as they scurried out of Albis.

"Penny used to smoke." Said Oliver sadly.

"I always used to tell her, penny you have to give them up! She never listened."

All of a sudden he was pouring his heart out to me over his deceased sister. I didn't know what to say; maybe he was looking for a friend in need. I'm not the most friendliest person in the world but he still resorted to me.

"Aw Ollie. Don't dwell on the past, trust me it is not worth it." This was coming from a woman who's mother abandoned her then used her years later for body parts.

"Your right. I never stop thinking about her tho, Jac." His eyes were swelling up. I am certainly not good in situations like these.

"I know valentine..." I said wanting to comfort him. All I could think about was having an arm around me when I was upset. I wasn't the type tho to do that, what the bloody hell would people think of Jac Naylor then?

He had clearly had a fair few more to drink than myself; maybe he would forget if I put my arm around him? I gambled it.

I put my arm around the blue eyed doctor pulling him in

"It's alright Oliver. If you ever need to talk."

"I know when you've had a few because your always nicer." He laughed. I just laughed along as much as I didnt like the partial Insult.

As I looked over to him he did the same. Our eyes met together; god how blue they were, I thought.

He put his hand on my face and pulled me In closer making us kiss. I didn't know how to react, the last time I was with him was in the heat of the moment, now seemed more planned if anything! I kissed him back, also raising my hand to his stubbled face.

*ahem* came a strong female voice, shit.

I quickly pulled away despite myself quite enjoying the fact I was kissing one of Holbys best lookers.

"Having fun are we? Whilst the camera is away have a little kiss? Aw I'm sure Johnny won't mind! His girlfriend here with Mr posh boy!" Bawled Mo.

"I never said anything about girlfriend. Anyway great friend you are leaving him." I retaliated

"As a matter of fact he is at the bar; getting your highness drinks."

"Thanks for the status update. Ugh I'm going; joining me valentine?" I asked him gathering my bags up.

He just sat there like a school boy

"Oliver?"

He jumped, must have been in a daze.

"You coming with me or are you gonna stay here with bill and Ben?" I asked him.

"Erm yeah, sure." He said seeming unsure about the decision to be on his own with me.

"Don't worry Valentine I won't eat you."

We stood outside of Albis waiting for a cab to take us somewhere else; preferably home but tagging along with Oliver it may end up another smoke smelling try-to-be bistro. The cold air made ME of all people shiver.

"Must be cold." Said Oliver looking over at the sub-zero me.

"It's bloody freezing." I chattered, wrapping my arms around myself. I looked up to the clear black sky dotted with billions of stars shining.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Oliver interrupted my star gazing.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

I looked over at him again, it was his eyes that caught me again. I was in one of those "where has Jac gone?" Moments again. These were happening far too often.

"Ms Naylor?" Asked Oliver, obviously noticing me staring him down. Yet I was still silent.

He edged closer to me; yet my eyes would not be taken off him. What is wrong with you Jac? I thought to myself..

I moved myself even closer to him, looking up at his eyes.

*beep beeb* came a car horn.

I slightly sighed before stepping back and looking at the taxi.

"Your place or mine?" I sharply asked the young doctor.

"Erm, well, I... I.."

"Spit it out!"

"Erm I don't mind, wherever. It's just I...I have a housemate."

"We'll my house then."

I couldn't be bothered with socialising with others right now. I had gotten used to his company.

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Thanks for reading! Will update soon, please review and share! xx


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! thanks for all the reviews they mean a lot :D hope you are all enjoying my story so far, i will be able to update more regularly due to it being the holiday :D so anyway thanks again and please review! x

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Chapter 7-

Jacs house.

"I thought you wanted to go to a bar?" He said narrowing his eyes as if he was suspicious of me.

"Don't look at me like that!" I ordered

"We'll you do it a hell of a lot!"

"So what? I'm a consultant your just a CT1!" I covered my mouth after letting myself say this to him. His girlfriend left him I'm not sure he needs another confidence knock.

He just stood there gob smacked at my comeback. My face whitened and I instantly felt guilty.

"Shit. Oliver I'm sorry for that one." I apologised hoping for his forgiveness.

"Ugh whatever Jac; all you care about is yourself and your huge ego and hold over everyone. Yeah no one has Had the guts to actually tell you this, so round of applause to myself." He argued.

I rolled my eyes and marched up to him. All of a sudden he tensed up; expecting a red palm mark across his cheek. His eyes flicked from side to side, worried and panicked.

I quickly placed both my hands gently on his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.

What the bloody hell was I doing? If he cared about me kissing him like that; he would have pulled me off, wouldn't he..? I thought to myself.

He didn't seem to care, instead he began to kiss me back, pulling me in.

Another brain wave went past me, it looked like I was getting rid of Tara to get to him. I didn't want to wrong idea in his head...

I put my hand on his chest and pulled myself away. He raised an eyebrow at it.

"Are you okay?" he asked, knowing it wasn't my normal self who would reject it.

"Its wrong Valentine. Its not you its me. You've just been abandoned by your girlfriend, who I could tell you genuinely loved. And now your so vulnerable you aren't even thinking straight ,Oliver..."

"Jac." He butted in "She is gone now, and as you said earlier you cant dwell on things. She isn't coming back, and I know it! I would have kept my distance if I never wanted to be close to you!" He argued

I hung my head and thought about what he had just said. I then looked up with my answer

"Does that mean you WANT to be with me?" I asked him still slightly confused.

"If you feel the same I don't see why we can't."

I had to think yet again; was I with Johnny? Or was it just a fling? I was so confused; which was rare as I am usually quite clued up. I didn't want to offend Oliver in anyway. I honestly liked him and would like to maybe be with him- but not with Johnny and Mo on our backs... When has petty reasons like that ever stopped me. I had the audacity to sleep with my boyfriends father, that's when morals go out the door.

"Oliver it's a bit far fetched, c'mon be realistic?" I said laughing and putting the under confident doctor down once more; unintentionally.

"You want a drink?" I asked him, walking towards my kitchen and grabbing 2 glasses and a bottle of whine.

"I should be going... I have things to do tomorrow." He lied.

"Yeah whatever valentine." I said placing the bottle and glasses on the coffee table and pouring them.

"Got no choice now." I said handing him the glass.

I was fed up of lonely nights; they were monotonous. Night in night out sat here, watching crappy television till all hours,doing patient notes and file work.

FEW HOURS LATER :)

"Jac I seriously am not going to get anything done tomorrow. Don't blame me when I'm not doing work; after all you did make me drink." He argued.

"What?! I didn't do such a thing!" I replied sarcastically laughing. I was actually having a good time since quite a while. I think I had made a friend- depends how long I can keep them for depends on how much of a bitch I turn into when I'm sober...

"You've been great over the past few days Jac. Thank you." Oliver said gratefully.

"My pleasure Oliver. If you ever need to talk, you know where I am." I smiled. Despite the fact not being overly sober I still meant it. Even tho Oliver could be a pain in my arse at work I couldn't help feeling that I should try look over him. Maybe that's what a few years of mentoring has over you; I don't know.

The room fell silent; I awkwardly tapped my fingers on my wine glass. I then looked up to find Oliver looking at me. I just smiled at him unknowing of what to do...

Then he edged closer to me; like we had done many times that night but it never went anywhere.

I could feel myself also leaning in to kiss him.

I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him in closer. He was passionately kissing me. None of us tried to stop each other this time. He ran his warm hands through my auburn hair.

I then stood up and put my arm out for him to take, he gently took I as I lead him out of the room.

I slowly awoke from my slumber the morning after to find myself with an unbearable headache. Remembering only snippets of the night before, except one that I would soon to be reminded of.

I slowly turned over to find a dark haired man laid next to me. All of a sudden it had hit me; I had sleep with Valentine.

"Oh crap." I murmured

He was still sleeping. I pushed my hair back out of my face and looked up; I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Suddenly he began to wake up; he seemed disorientated.

"Oh god my head." He rambled, wiping his eyes.

"Morning." I said to him in my nicest morning manor.

"W-what...?" He said narrowing his eyes and sitting up. He was certainly surprised, he wasent even in a bad state compared to me last night!

"Yeah valentine you must have stayed over."

He turned and looked at me

"Did we..." He said nervously

I rolled my eyes

"Guessing so..."

I turned and looked at him; before we both burst out into laughter at the fact.

"Oh god." I laughed, he had put me in a good mood just seeing him. Must mean something I thought.

"We'll the valentine, we had best be getting off to work. You don't want your boss on you back." I laughed.

"Alright then." He smiled.

I grabbed my dressing gown off the side and wrapped it around me. I walked over to wardrobe and grabbed a black work suit out of it. "Cya in the kitchen shall I?" I asked Oliver. He just nodded.

I wandered into my bath room where I got changed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were heavy and my skin as pale as ever.

I grabbed my eyeliner and applied it, my hand still a bit shaky from the night before. I still though I looked deathly. I then put of my blusher; would make me appear more brighter hopefully giving the impression that I'm in quite a good mood for the day.

When I was eventually satisfied with my looks and hair I wondered into my kitchen to find Oliver already there say down at my table.

"You okay?" I asked him

"Yeah sure." He replied looking slightly annoyed

"C'mon Ollie you looked pissed off. I said you could tell me whatever now spit it out. If its about last night..." I began to feel bad wondering if it was last night that was annoying him. I couldn't help feel I had possibly pushed him into it.

"No Ms Nalyor it's not, I just didn't expect it. Don't feel offended, please."

"So it was about it then?"

"No not entirely! What If Johnny finds out about it?"

"Oliver there was nothing on between us! C'mon."

I argued "just leave it now."

"We best be getting off." I said grabbing my bags "I'm in a good mood this morning, I might actually let you walk into work with me." I laughed walking out of my flat being followed by Oliver.

I sat awkwardly in the motionless car sat next to Oliver whilst it decided to warm up.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked me

"Go ahead."

"If she had stayed... Would it have lasted long?"

"Possibly Valentine you never know. She could have been seeing all sorts behind your back. Always the quiet ones."

I then started the car; we began to drive off to holby.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey i hope your all enjoying it so far! hehe please review! x

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Chapter 8-

We pulled up in the hospital car park. Oliver was still silent probably wondering about what he had done.

"We best be going shall we?" I smiled slightly gathering my things from the back seats.

He smiled back at me and got out of the car. He surprisingly waited for me as if he wanted to be seen with me. Today I just couldn't be bothered what the hell people thought; I had reached the point where people could gossip all they like.

He trailed behind slightly due to the fact I was too quick for him; so it made people slightly less suspicious. Still getting the odd look of none other than Michael spence.

"New man in Naylor town?" He laughed giving Oliver a sly wink.

"No. Dr valentine just caught me on my way in. Don't feel too smug." i laughed slightly. Despite the annoying Yankee tone and his attitude spence was okay. Sometimes.

"Alright then Naylor; denial as usual. I've known you for too long I can tell!" He laughed grabbing his coffee from the counter and heading off into the cafe.

I looked up at Oliver and gave out a slight smile.

Awkwardly we then progressed over to the lift which was empty for a change. I walked in followed by Oliver; all I could do was look down at my feet. A cold hand suddenly was placed on my shoulder and pulled me around. He then quickly pulled me in for a kiss.

I struggled off him

"Valentine; not here not now!?"

"But I thought that's what..."

"No! No Oliver. We could get found out; and we especially don't need Jonny on our case even more." I explained to him. As much as I didn't really care,there was still Jonny. Knowing that he could have entered the lift on any floor and we would be in a disaster.

Suddenly the doors began to slide open and in walked Jonny.. Thank god I warned valentine. Jonny turned and looked at me without realising I could see him

"Anything you wanna say to me Maconie because you seem to be awful interested in me." I snapped

"Jac." Oliver interfered

"No Oliver. C'mon spit it out nurse Maconie!" I said raising my voice more and more with every word.

"Nothing! I just looked at you; relax!" Jonny cried holding his hands up.

"I know what's going on Jac, I'm not stupid! I couldn't care if you were with him or not, he can have you!" Added Jonny angrily.

I took a step back from the Scotsman and scoffed.

I quickly harsher past him out of the lift followed by Oliver.

"Jac are you okay?" Asked Oliver acting all concerned

"Ugh please just leave me Valentine!" I angered.

I Marched off having the whole ward looking me down. "Jac!" Cried Oliver from the other side; I just kept walking like I had ignored it. I didn't know exactly where I was going but I just walked through the hospital until I burst through a big metal door. It was the big open roof over looking the whole of Holby. The heavy wind blew my long hair violently as I walked further to the edge.

I tightly grabbed onto the metal bar in front of me and took a deep breath in. I looked down below me to see the cold hard ground beneath.

What if I jumped? Would anyone really be bothered? I have no family to make worried. No one cares for me anymore.

I took my hands slowly off the bar and ducked under it. Yet again looking down and the depths beneath. I then replaced my hands on the cold bar and stepped forward; this time closer to the edge.

A huge noise of slamming doors startled me; my grip loosened causing me to partially step over the edge; my balance was lost as I staggered around trying to regain my grip.

"Jac, please don't!" Cried Oliver running over to me

"Valentine I'm a grown woman dont act like my bloody mother."

"What has gotten into you Jac?" He argued

"Excuse me?" I swivelled my head round to face him; he looked panicked with swelling eyes.

"Oliver; nothing has gotten Into me..."

"You've changed Ms Naylor. Ever since this morning you've been acting weird."

I rolled my eyes and thought about what he had said. This wasn't me; causing a fuss, attention seeking.

"Fine. You win. I'm acting different yeah I get it." I slowly let go of the bar when a huge gust of wind blew me off balance. My other hand then detached itself from the bar as i struggled. Suddenly I could feel myself tipping backwards

"Jac!" Cried Oliver as he flung his long arm out to grab me from over the edge. Then I could sense something on my arm; I opened my closed eyes to find that I had stop going backwards and instead being held by one arm by Oliver; he let out a warm shy smile. I smiled back at him and then flung my arms over him and pulled him in for a tight hug as he helped me step over the bar. I looked up at his eyes that were still swelled; a tear rolled down my cheek as I smiled at him.

"Don't do that again to me." He pleaded.

"Don't worry I won't!" I assured him

"What was I thinking Oliver?" I asked him. All he could do was shake his head and then pull me into another warm hug.

"Let's go down shall we?" He asked pushing my hair out of my teary eyes.

"Yeah. We'd better. Thanks valentine." I said before kissing him softly on the lips

Back on Darwin-

"And you wanna explain where the hell you two have been? We have been rushed off our feat here; because some people decided to take a nice little break, hu?" Argued Jonny.

"Listen she has been having a really tough day just let her go." Oliver said calmly.

"Tough day? Ha well it's like that every day when she is around!" Said Jonny pointing straight at me.

"Yeah well today isn't really the day to snap at her. She is in a really bad way.." Oliver persisted to Jonny that I was genuinely upset.

"You can never talk to the bloody woman without starting a fight! C'mon Oliver i thought you would know; mind you her little toy boy would stand up to her! Grow a pair Oliver, leave her she will just spit you back out!" Protested Jonny finally giving up and heading to tend to patients.

I seethed looking directly at the Scotsman who had not progressed into the distance.

Oliver put his arm around my shoulder and again pulled me in.

"You can come over to mine tonight if you would like? So your not by yourself." He suggested

"Yeah, whatever." I said agreeing.

He then let go of me and sat down at the nurses station; he yawned and stretched out his arms.

"Dr Valentine; I have a letter addressed to you." Said a nurse to Oliver. A confused expression wiped across his face as he slowly opened the envelope. He pulled out a letter and what appeared to be a ticket; he dropped his eyebrows and almost scowled with concentration when reading the letter. Suddenly his facial expression changed; his eyes widened but not in the happy way.

"Oh god." He muttered and picked up the ticket.

"What?" I called over to him; jogging over to the nurses station.

"It's Tara." He muttered "she wants me to go over to be with her."

"What!" I cried "you can't just go! There is work; she left you Oliver! If she bloody cared for you she would have stayed put!"

"She was confused Jac, I can't blame her. The flight is tonight. I'm going; you can't stop me once I've placed in my resignation." Oliver said sternly.

"You wouldn't dare." I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes.

He then grabbed a pen and paper and began to write his resignation.

"Don't come crying to me when you decide to venture back over here and beg me for your job back and I say no! Go; get out of here Dr Valentine." I said sounding genuinely hurt.

I then stormed off to my office to pass the day over.

Jacs office, later on-

*knock knock*

"WHAT?" I shouted angrily

"Jac it's just me." Said Oliver sheepishly peeking round the door. I just scoffed and looked back down at patient files.

"Erm, well. I guess this is it. Nice working with you. I'm sure I won't forget." He said offering me to shake his pathetic hand.

"Get out of my office." I ordered him

"Well fine then Ms Naylor. Goodbye Jac." He said looking down at his feet and slowly slipping back round the door.

"DONT CALL ME JAC!" I shouted at him in anger. I slammed the files back in my pile and grabbed my bags placed at my side.


	9. Chapter 9

This is a really quick filler chapter as i began writing what was meant to be chapter 9 but thought it jumped a bit too much. So here is a quick and lame filler chapter and the chapter 10 WILL be up tomorrow at the latest! Thanks for all the reviews i love them and they all mean a lot :) xx

Chapter 9-

"Jac, c'mon you gotta come out of your office some time!" Called Michael from the other side of my door.

I kept silent eyeing my paperwork up and down. The huge pile of monotonous rubbish that I had well and truly give up on. I sighed.

"If you don't let me in I'm gonna break down the door and it ain't gonna be fun. You got surgery in an hour Jac!" Pleaded Michael

"DONT CALL ME JAC!" I protested

Slowing gathering myself up I got out of my chair. I felt weak and limp; lifeless almost. I slowly walked over to the door and opened it slightly peeking my face around the door

"What!" I snarled at Michael.

"C'mon Naylor, your needed; forget about valentine! You have me." He laughed

"It's not funny!" I shouted

"Woah alright." I said backing away.

"I'm here if you need me." He offered before walking off and leaving me like a stranded child. I felt abandoned once again; what was so wrong with me that chased everyone away!?

I flung open the door to my office; squinting my eyes as the light shone at me. It showed how much I had stayed inside my confined office.

"Eurgh!" I moaned covering my face with my hand.

"Have you eaten?" Asked Michael

"What do you think! I've been constantly working for a week of course I haven't bloody eaten!" I had just finished my sentence before everything went black. I had fainted; I hit the ground with full force bruising myself.

I awoke to find myself in a hospital bed. Everything seemed blurred at first. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the side of my bed.

"Is it every time I happen to be admitted to hospital your at my side? Must be something about you spence." I laughed, brightening my spirits for once.

"Ah it must be! Listen you were really dehydrated; good job I was with you else any longer and you two would be gonners!" Said Michael smiling slightly.

"Woah what? Us two?!" I panicked widening my eyes at Michael.

"Oh crap I thought you knew!"

"If I had know I would have said something you idiot!" I snarled at him.

"Do you want me to contact Oliver?" He asked

"No! If he wants to see how I am he can get off his arse and call me!" I argued "just leave me Michael I'm fine."

I turned my head away from him; despite him trying to help me I just didn't need it; not today.

I shut my eyes and turned on my side. I winced, forgetting the bruises.

"Woah mind out there, okay?" I said gently grabbing me and pulling me back round. I didn't even have to strength to shout him off me.

"Thank you, I know your only trying and I appreciate it." I smiled

"Naylor is being nice to me? Wow!" He laughed.

He was coming noticeably close to my face. I wasn't too sure if he was accidentally doing it or trying to come onto me... Then I figured out that the latter option was the most likely one, due to the fact he has began puckering up.

"What the hell are you doing?" I said disgusted.

"What I thought that..?"

"I've just found out that I'm pregnant with the man I was sure I actually loved, but he has happened to just leave me! Do you think I'm ready to move on? I don't think so!." I said flabbergasted by his attempt to kiss me.

He then pushed his chair back from my bed and began to walk off. I sighed as I longed for someone who cared to be by my side.

"Ms Naylor; I've Cleared it with Hansen, your good to go and be discharged." Beamed the nurse, obviously not happy for the fact that I was better, and for the fact another bed was freed up. I pulled the curtain round; struggling slightly due to my side still aching like mad. I quickly got changed out of the old damp smelling nightgowns they persisted i wore, and put on my nice soft clothes I had wore to work the pervious day.

I then again dragged round the curtain and smiled at the nurse in the other side

"Presuming your all set?" She asked handing me documents to sign.

"Yeah I'm sorted."

"Good, we've also signed you off for the rest of the week and you can start back here on Monday." Smiled the nurse who was getting even more sickly.

"What? No I don't want to be at home! I'm staying and working here, weather any of you like it or not!" I quickly slammed down the clipboard on my bed before marching off quick enough so the nurse couldn't argue with me.

I then marched out of holby for the day; myself and my unborn baby.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey thanks for all the reviews :) hope your all enjoying the story x

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I was awoke from my sleep once again from the whines and cries from my 3 month old daughter Faye. I moaned as it pushed my hair out of my eyes and sat up from my nice cosy bed.

"C'mon Faye please!" I whined forcing myself over to her cot. I picked her up and placed her little head upon my shoulder.

"Don't cry on me again." I pleaded patting her back.

"Ugh I can't carry on by myself like this!" I moaned.

I grabbed my phone off the side table and scrolled down my contact list trying to remember who was working and who wasn't.

I rolled my eyes as I hadn't come across anyone who wasnt working. Then I remembered. Michael doesn't work Fridays.. I took my phone out again and called him.

Later on-

Faye was finally more settled; then the door knocked. This make her tears come back. I sighed as I jogged over to my door to let Michael in.

"Aw Naylor; nice of you to remember my working hours and call me! Are you need help, everything seems fine to me?" He laughed "I know you wanted to see me but god Naylor!"

I grimaced "ugh give it a rest! You know what's weird? You still remembering where the hell I live." I scowled at him.

"Anyway where is the mini Jac?" He asked looking around.

"My room; come on." I said beaconing him towards my room.

"Here." I said pointing at the cot.

"Aw, she has your hair, I can tell! But Jac I'm gonna have to say she looks like her old ma..." He stopped "oh god I forgot. I'm sorry Jac, does he know?" He asked me

"Pffht he never bothered to get in contact to check up on me, why should I chase him,Michael?" I snapped.

"Humm. Anyway what do you need me to do?" He asked

"Erm, you can just go round to the shop for me if you want, I just need stuff for Faye." I replied handing him a list from my pocket.

"Why don't you go and I'll look after the kid? You could do with some air." He said to me smiling

"Okay spence but don't teach her any of your Yankee slang whilst I'm gone. If you need anything call me." I replied exchanging Faye for my list.

I grabbed my coat from the side a wrapped it round me; I hadn't been out in over a week. I didn't know how hard being a single parent would be!

As I stepped out my front door the cold wind hit me like a tonne of bricks

"Bloody hell!" I muttered under my breath before strolling along the road. I turned and gazed into a clothes shop window; and as I could see my reflection I could notice I hadn't looked this bad in ages. My thin facial structure was now even more sucked in; my dark heavy bags under my eyes made me look ancient. My hair looked whispy as I just could not be bothered anymore. I turned my face away for the window in shame and carried on until I reached the shop.

As I walked through the doors I quickly snatched the basket from the side and got my things

Milk, bread, nappies for Faye and wipes.

I was rushing because I didn't want to leave her with Michael for long; she will end up getting his annoying yank accent if I'm not careful.

I took all the items out of the basket and placed them by the till, the old lady working looked up at me

"Are you alright pet? You don't look too great today?" She asked being her usual nosey self.

"Yeah I'm fine." I replied bitterly

"Aw, take care of yourself and the little one won't you love? That will be £6.80 please." Said the croaky old woman. I handed her the money before thanking her and gathering my things.

It wasn't just me then who thought I looked a wreck. Oliver why the bloody hell did you leave me? I thought slowly plodding back home to my apartment.

I swung open my front door and placed the bags down on the counter top.

"How has she been?" I asked Michael.

"Just like her mom." He laughed "nah she has just dropped asleep."

"Good. Want a drink?" I asked putting the kettle on.

"Yeah sure, your phones gone a few times tho. Sure it ain't a secret man your keeping from us?" He laughed

I just scowled at him and prepared the drinks for me and him.

"Did it say who it was?" I asked

"Nu hu, but not any number Ive seen before. Not local I mean."

I think it then clicked with Michael who it was. He became suddenly silent as I called back the number.

"Taking ages to connect!" I moaned stirring the two cups of tea.

"Hello?" Came a desperate answer

"Urm, yeah you called me?" I asked, the voice suspiciously similar to one I knew.

"Jac it's me, Ollie."

"You took your time getting in touch. I don't wanna know." I snapped

"Just hear me out, please? I've left Tara, we were constantly arguing. That's all. I'm coming back tomorrow if you care to know and Hansen has given me back my job." He announced.

"He did what! Your not working on my ward Valentine!" I then hung up the phone and handed Michael his drink.

"Did you know about this?" I cried

"Nope, I would have said, c'mon Jac!"

I narrowed my eyes at him

"Honestly!" He protested

"Oh god Michael what am I going to do! Things could get much worse. Bloody hell." I rolled my eyes and headed towards my wine cabinet.

"Erm Jac c'mon I don't thin you should be drinking." Suggested Michael getting to involved already.

"Who are you, my mother?" I argued; beginning to pour myself a glass.

He just sighed and flopped back down into the sofa, giving up.

"Why don't you just leave me and Faye alone?" I asked him.

"Because if your starting to drink I don't think it's the best idea for you to be with her."

"Oh so you don't trust me with my own daughter? That's nice of you Michael; lovely."

"Ugh you know what I mean!" He differed

I had given up with him; if he wants to look after my kid and give me a break, yeah sure.

"Whatever, stay just don't try make conversation with me I'm not in the mood.

He just laughed as always and then opened his mouth to bless me with one of his annoying comments.

"You know everyone at work thinks you've turned into a right sweetheart. God their gonna get one hell of a shock when you come back."

"We can't let my 'ice cold' façade collapse can we." I answered, slightly annoyed at the fact I had been thought of as a 'sweetheart' that word makes me feel sick anyway without it being directed at me.

Few hours later...

"C'mon cut out the drink now, you have work tomorrow!" Argued Michael attempting to grab my wine bottle off me.

"Ha! Nice try spence!" I laughed pulling away the bottle.

"Oh god how I've missed actually feeling happy! You know Michael, Ive never really been a happy person. You've know me for ages now so you probably know." I slurred not really caring about what I said or what I did.

"And I thought when I drink I'm bad? Nu hu you've just completely outrun me there Naylor." He said propping me up from my slouched position.

I yawned as I curled straight back up into the couch. My eyes slowly closing, more and more. Until they were fully shut. I had fallen asleep; not realising that I had Faye in the other room and Michael was here with me.

The couch never is the comfiest place to fall asleep but when your drunk anything will do I suppose.


End file.
